What is “Self Awareness,” Really?

It is NOT woo woo, touchy feely stuff. I used to think it was all about feelings and ideas that were controlled by your emotions. Actually, no. It part of the “social sciences” and the “science” is in there for a reason.

I am an engineer so I like data and facts. I didn’t realize you could gather data and facts about human behavior – and then explain it to people. That was the “science” part of the social sciences. And what I learned really amazed me: I am not quite the unique snowflakes I thought I was!

Social scientist have examined lots of people and gathered lots of data. And they have found that we fall in general categories of characteristics, we behave in certain ways, respond to events in predictable manners, and so on. It was fascinating to me scientists could “know” me and my behaviors so well. I wanted to know more so I began reading and learning more about this world.

I wanted to know why I naturally think and act they way I do. What was the wiring inside that made me me.

A simple example of Self Awareness I am sure you can relate to: we all have some awareness of whether we are introverted or extroverted. Do we get energy from large groups or does that drain us? Would we rather have 2 or 3 close friends over or go to a party with lots of “new friends we have not met yet?” Introversion and extroversion are not binary things (on or off) they are (like most things in life) on a continuum. Some people are closer to the middle, some are out at the edges.

I grew in Self Awareness when I realized I am more of an extrovert and my wife Sheila is more of an introvert. This would come in to play in our mirage when at the end of a long work-week I’d be ready to go to a party or bar – somewhere with lots of people and action. Sheila would rather be home with a book and a glass of wine. So we had to navigate those differences. Neither is right or wrong – neither is better or worse. They are just different.

I like to develop thoughts and solutions by talking about them. I am a verbal processor. A lot of people I work with are internal processors. They want to think something through before discussing it. This can lead to a lot of “challenging” work meetings! But, now that I get it – I have self awareness – I know what is going on. The situation does not frustrate me – well, a little bit it does (why can’t everyone do things the right way, like me?) But now I know what is going on. I am aware of myself and others.

In engineering world we talk about metadata all the time – it is the data behind the data. Our geographic information systems (GIS) people make maps. Then they create the metadata about that map – Where is the data from? What date is the data from? What is the projections or units? All that “metadata” tells anyone else who wants to use the data everything they need to know about it.

Self Awareness is discovering the metadata of our lives. You grow in self awareness by understanding the information behind your behaviors.

– Michael